Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lighting Anticipation's Fire

When was the last time you wrote a letter? Not simply a beautifully decorated, printed card, with verse and your signature, but an actual letter? In your own handwriting, with its unique flaws and flourishes, with messages from your heart to another? We telephone, we type, we e-mail, we jump in the vehicle at hand and race over to communicate . . . instant gratification. Think of it - your own words, written in your own style, sent to a favorite person. Waiting for the reply, a letter arrives in your mailbox, with accompanying anticipation and excitement as to its contents; or having received it, the pleasure and happiness upon opening and reading a personal, specific connection with another's thoughts, committed to paper and available to be read again at your leisure. Not so many years ago, friendships and relationships were often kept alive and new by the exchange of letters. The small bit of time it may require us to write words of encouragement, news, love or sympathy becomes a much broader investment in making others happy, much improving their feelings. Those who must be confined, or who have little ability to move about freely for one reason or another, will always express the happiness they feel on receiving a letter. Cards are wonderful and thoughtful; letters are exquisite pleasure, to be enjoyed over and over. Most of us are definitely out of practice when it comes to gathering the necessary items for composing letters, and it tends to sound something like this: stationery . . . do we actually still have any in the house? Do you mean the only envelopes we have are ones with preprinted lines for the return address? How tacky. And . . . do we have any stamps? These aren't the correct postage. And on and on -- of course, a sheet of notebook paper from your student's school supplies, mailed in any available envelope, will still be a welcome connection to any friend, relative or acquaintance. Later for the flowered stationery edged in gold with scented paper, not to mention the colorful wax seals now available in subtle fragrances. These are reserved for serious letter-writers, those who insist on bringing excellence to a fine point. And once you try it, this just may be you! All who receive your letters will attest to that.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Being Alone

How can we believe ourselves alone when we have our own minds? There has never been a time in life for many of us when being alone wasn’t a pleasure, a delicious happiness. In childhood, we have our families, parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives with whom we are expected to co-exist. We enter school early in life and must participate regularly in an organized melee of sensory overload. Daily life contains a sea of distractions. It seems an imposition, a form of being trapped. While with ourselves alone, we can simply BE. Thoughts can go in and out of our consciousness, sensations experienced and noticed, sounds, barely audible within the din of noise when others are present, can be heard and enjoyed. It is a time for renewal of spirit, refreshing energies, connecting with fire in our souls.

If very still and quiet, one can hear the wind . . . distant sounds of birds, croaking frogs beside a creek. Running water, the rhythm of nature. Nothing is more exquisite than solitude. Reading words written hundreds of years before . . . or writing in our own journals; feeling the continuity of simply being alive and on this planet. Who may have been in this place before us? What were their lives, how did they survive? Silence. State of the gods. Space in which to imagine, think, feel.

Absence of any kind of longing. Everything is here, now. The blazing sun, endless expanse of sky, clouds, stars, an ever-morphing moon. Banks of bright azaleas, cherry and apple blossoms in spring; hot, motionless nights of summer with an oddly comforting, steady drone of buzzing insects; panoramas of blazing orange, red and yellow leaves in autumn; crisply cold, icy whiteness of an early winter morning. Changing seasons offer sensational experiences each and every year, one after another. We come to realize that, far from only being present to view their glorious offerings, we are one with them.

Albert Einstein once observed: “I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” Being alone is radically different from being lonely. Making the most of being with ourselves is truly sublime use of our abilities to stimulate our own imaginations, love our own company, and to understand that when we are alone we are gifted and fortunate.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Movie Magic

All of us have, from time to time, been queried as to what movies are our favorites. Sometimes this is an identifying question when completing a financial application, more often an inquiry which sheds light on one’s personal preferences, or even personality, giving our friends and acquaintances some input on compatibility. It's great fun to see and discuss movies.

Even those of us who rarely visit theaters have viewed many movies . . . they are one of our best-loved mediums and a universal source of entertainment. Through their work in cinema, we are familiar with hundreds of actors now gone . . . Ingrid Bergman, Katherine Hepburn, John Wayne, Natalie Wood; they lived, worked in films and made permanent impressions on generations of those of us born from the thirties through forties, and who lived the fifties, through the present time. Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelley, dancers of another time . . . their films were often set in the war years, during which they lived and worked.

It would appear to be less difficult to produce a film which is faithful to its own period of time, rather than re-creating a time period accurately . . . costuming, lines, interactions, much less the social auras which existed. One film comes to mind, in 1938 . . . Jezebel, with Bette Davis and Henry Fonda. It was set on a Louisiana plantation in the 1800s. The sets were managed, including spanish moss and white columns, carefully crafted southern accents, and a mammy, and while it was entertaining and the actors were superb, no one who was familiar with the antebellum south during that period of time could believe the film to be representative of the place and time. Gone With the Wind was another story entirely. Released in 1939, based on a carefully researched and beautifully written novel by Georgian Margaret Mitchell, it was simply almost perfection in its depiction of life during that period of time, in the south. It exists today as a window into life as it was, as a faithfully crafted reproduction of the culture. A sparkling jewel of a film . . . timeless in its pristine facets.

In the eighties, a small group of people set about to make a film about a family whose daughters grew up in the fifties and became adults in the early sixties. The lasting magic of Dirty Dancing was its exact depiction of life as it was during that period of time. The story of the characters was less compelling than the actors’ meticulous portrayal of the way people during that decade lived their lives, interacted with each other, what they expected from one another . . . in the cultural era in which the film was set. It was an exact picture of the late fifties and sixties at that time, and the actors, producers and directors 'got it' perfectly, exactly. It's a work of art, just like a painting or a piece of music.

The industry calls many beloved films ‘cult classics’ and indeed, they are. Evidence of this type of magic is that rare quality of timelessness . . . the ability to create excitement and to entertain, whether twenty-five or seventy years later.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Wisdom's Light

Wisdom’s Light

Tara Bennett Goleman, in her book ‘Emotional Alchemy’ writes “For the light of wisdom within everyone” on the dedication page. The book’s foreword was penned by the Dalai Lama. He observes: “As a Buddhist I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events that reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All such negative thoughts and emotions as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on have the effect of disturbing our inner equilibrium. They also have a taxing effect on our physical health. In the Tibetan medical system, mental and emotional disturbances have long been considered causes of many constitutional diseases, including cancer. Disturbing emotions are the very source of unethical conduct.

Equilibrium . . . balance. In the absence of harmony within our living spaces, we become unbalanced, and in all of nature, imbalance is the beginning of the end of any eco-system or civilization, any species and its survival. It is the same with our bodies, that personal eco-system for which we are responsible while in our lives on this planet. In the frenzied rush to meet our obligations, personal and otherwise, it would be well to consider whether balance has been achieved within our complicated frameworks. Balance for ourselves, for our families. The food we eat, the air we breathe, our work environment, our communities, social interactions, and our friends must ‘square up’ with our bodies and minds at all times.

Blood pressure, heart and breathing rates, digestion, and many more bodily functions respond negatively to stress. In other words, stress is damaging to our bodies, not simply a temporary nuisance. Long term damage can and will occur if we fail to find a method by which we calm ourselves. Stress is by any definition an off-balance condition. When we feel ‘out of balance’ in any situation, it affects us physiologically. Our autonomic nervous systems react . . . we soon begin to believe that we have no control . . . and our solution may be to take a drug to suppress symptoms which alarm and inconvenience us.

The light of wisdom as Ms. Goleman sees it achieves calm in one’s mind, so that mindfulness becomes the practical application during moments or times of emotional disturbance. Realize that all of us has the capacity to change, to move toward taking care of ourselves, putting our own bodies and minds in balance, achieving harmony within and around us.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Lighting the Fire

Advice regarding love within a partnership from someone who has made no romantic relationship more than semi-permanent in life seems counter-productive. However, the point may be made that if, at a late stage of life, it can be stated that at no time during any romantic relationship has the author ever been left or abandoned by any partner, perhaps a few salient suggestions could be in order. First, the reasons for discontinuing a love relationship are legion. They range from trivial to life-threatening. That said, boredom is probably the single most prevalent reason that people stray from a committed partner and the life they have created together. Speaking personally, suffice it to say that solitude has ultimately proved to be a personally preferred way to live; however, no one may be better or more skilled at creating excitement and anticipation. One’s mind is the origination for shared fantasies. If your partner is bored, not only are you missing the point . . . if you care about the continuation of your life as it is, with the same companion, you’d better be getting to it.

We all know that routines in life are pretty much expected. Someone must keep house, service the vehicles, do the marketing, cooking, call repair companies, research the best deal on cable, lawn care (or worse yet, mow the lawn yourself each week in the summer months), garbage pickup (even worse, take rubbish to the local landfill), get the children to appointments, schedule pest control, do the laundry, get everyone off to school on time each morning in appropriate, clean clothing, with adequate supplies, and a reasonably nutritious breakfast. Shift your energy toward your career and work all day, then head home in the evening to begin the routine again. Usually, there is a dominant partner who takes on a great percentage of the above chores. This person may alternately feel like a hugely productive dynamo, or a put-upon, overworked drone or anywhere in between. And don’t even mention being taken for granted. That’s a given.

An insidious fallacy begins to work its evil within the happy framework of your life. Rather than working together, as a bonded unit . . . with shared understanding that you are discharging responsibilities presently with an eye toward fully living your lives together, just the two of you, traveling, writing, musing while on the beach gazing at a blazing sunset. When does it begin to unravel? Where was the fork in the planned path? SEE your companion. Make eye contact, touch each other. Purchase silk pillow slips, and/or sheets. Use tactile qualities as small pleasures during intimate moments together. Most couples sleep together . . . make sure that fragrances, smoothness and privacy are part of your evenings. Explore mutually desirable films, books and topics together. Discuss sensuality, what it means to each of you. Make time for each other. Cooking together is delicious . . . a truly sensual experience.

Your children are an important part of your lives. Give them the time that they deserve. Do not allow them to usurp your most intimate, personal time with your partner, or attempt to insert them into quiet time with your companion. Put them to bed at an appropriate time, and make love to each other. Take a bath or shower together, with scented soap. Wash each other’s hair, CARE about your partner’s comfort and pleasure. Have a glass of wine or a cup of tea together while discussing the news of the day.

Sexual compatibility is a combination of chemistry, focus, and imagination. Ignoring and/or eliminating any of these quenches your fire, dampens your enthusiasm for each other. Regularly rekindle the passion you felt when you were attracted in the beginning, or fail...at your own risk.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Rekindle

Rekindle. Even the word is lovely . . . burn and begin again, come back, rise and survive. The phoenix, a mythical sacred firebird originating in Phoenician, Egyptian and later Greek mythology, possesses colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends. It has a 500 to 1,000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of myrrh twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (sun city in Greek).

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It then bursts into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

AGNI . . . destructive fire, ever young and immortal, necessary for ancient, giant Redwoods to grow and reproduce . . . an apt metaphor for our lives, for survival, possibilities for love and life, for strength gained through purification by fire. Burn, and live. Destroy weakness. Save our souls.

Many cycles of legend, and of nature, are duplicated within human function. We are creatures of and from the earth . . . given a divine spark and an opportunity to be worthy of it. The fire burns within, propelling us toward and through our journeys, bestowing passion and drive, alternately scorching and warming, ever smoldering when we have no voice or power to unleash it.

So that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold, which though perishable, is tested by fire... 1 Peter 1:7 . . . much symbolism regarding the power of purification by fire exists today as testimony to the concept of emerging from fire revived, undamaged.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Magical Thinking

Many 'takes' exist in print regarding the concept of magical thinking. Joan Didion wrote 'The Year of Magical Thinking' after her husband's sudden death . . . poignantly describing her feelings during and after his death. Augusten Burroughs wrote 'Magical Thinking' - short stories of his life experiences which are alternately horrifying and alarming . . . and will cause anyone who reads them to nod in recognition.

Magical thinking generally is defined as causal reasoning which may include ideas that connections, having once been made, will always be in place; or a perception that correlation can occur again and again, such as wearing as ‘lucky’ pair of socks after winning a race while wearing them, so that one’s chances of winning increase. Magical thinking bestows a kind of symbolic power, providing feelings of possibilities, hope, and control.

Laws of probability are believed to govern the occurrence of certain patterns or coincidences. Magical thinking is thought to result upon failure to understand these laws. It has been said that magic is more like science then it is like religion; that societies with magical beliefs often have separate religious beliefs and practices.

Magical thinking is a common phase in child development. Children tend to connect their physical worlds with themselves, their internal consciousness. Adults may attempt to use it to explain something which has caused pain or grief, linking events mentally in such a way as to ‘make it allright’ somehow. To find an answer, where none exists.

One example is described by E.E. Evans-Pritchard’s Witchcraft, Magic, and Oracles Among the Azande, in which the Azande claim that a roof fell on a particular person because of a magical spell cast (unwittingly) by another person. The Azande knew perfectly well the scientific explanation for the collapsing room (that termites had eaten through the supporting posts), but pointed out that this scientific explanation could not explain why the roof happened to collapse at precisely the same moment that the particular man was resting beneath it. The magic (spell) explains why two independent chains of causation intersected. So, magic explains coincidences, making them meaningful.

A completely logical manner of thinking, according to scientific belief, would exclude magical thinking. So, karma, positive thinking, motivation, prayers for healing, mantras, and the like would necessarily fall into a magical thinking category. If we understand and accept our boundaries, there can be no such thing. Perhaps that is why it exists. It is likely that so long as humans exist, so will magical thinking.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

How many of us truly SEE color? Some remember black and white movies and TV. We were dazed with the advent of technicolor, kodachrome, the ability to see our photos and film in 'living color' - stupendous! Are we aware that our very own eyes have trichromatic color vision? Our worlds have ALWAYS contained beautiful, true, blazing colors. Leaves, orange, maroon, gold and all shades of brown in the fall, mixed on the horizon as on a living palette; glistening, white snow against the black and brown of winter, rainbows, blue skies and turquoise oceans; the many green hues of foliage in the spring. Skies in the evening glowing pink, blue and violet, deep brown, clear blue eyes of our babies as they begin to observe the world.

So . . . celebrate! We've technologically extended the sublime experience of color. It can now be possessed, recreated for our pleasure, on a wall or in the album.

Along the way, marvel at the original supreme creation . . . the human body!!!