Tension overload carries deadly consequences. Frequently, in a sense, we simply shut down, go into a waking sleep, and enclose ourselves in a cocoon of enforced unawareness. Constant, energy-draining concentration focused toward protecting ourselves from apprehension by avoiding stressors CAN be replaced by a strong focus on ridding ourselves of our defenses or life-long, elaborately constructed avoidance techniques. Thinking in new ways, behaving differently, or just plain facing the stressor head-on can be daunting. Meditation advocates suggest that development of quiet awareness and observation will bring the "stuffed" dread to the surface of our minds, and without putting judgments on these, or obsessing about them, we can then come from a place of presence rather than avoidance, thereby becoming able to realize the connectedness of EVERYTHING in its entirety, within any perceptually complicated system.
Tara Bennet-Goleman, in 'Emotional Alchemy' references attempts of many notable thinkers throughout history to turn base metals into gold. Her idea is that . . . in the same way, we all have the natural ability to turn our moments of confusion into insightful clarity. Meditate, feel without criticism or judgment, accept within your own skin what is real for you, outside your thinking and conditioning. After we finally understand that the origin of pain is always our desire for conditions in our lives to be different from what they are, there is a life shift, a conversion of energy from those avoidance places into true gold.
Power . . . to direct our own lives in beautiful ways. The power to come from a place of soul and mind alignment rather than adopting a one-size-fits-all defensive posture, thereby becoming a repelling magnet. An unseen, subtle time shift, and everything flows. A strong attitude of faith, at all times retaining that wispy, tiny perspective that all is just perfect, is the mechanism which changes our thoughts from having the NOTS as a part of the call-in to the universe to a call-in for joy and peace and love and beauty. And so there we are, driving down the same road as yesterday, for the brightly lucid first time.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Abusers
Magic sometimes does seem to happen with people who appear intensely passionate . . . who send flowers or gifts, and shower with attention the new acquaintance. A very special feeling may be sparked, and it can appear to be love when someone wants to know everything about another's life, likes and dislikes, travel plans, past relationships and even family. Look carefully through any such seemingly perfect veil of illusion, no matter how beautifully it may be presented.
Intimidation the method, control the ultimate goal. Abusers desperately need to be seen as powerful, as people to be reckoned with, and will go to any length to achieve this imagery. Any person who is within an abuser's life sphere is seen as property, to be manipulated in any way that the abuser sees fit.
If possible, the abuser will convince his/her target that there is no way to ever get away or escape, that the abused is being watched at all times, and is in danger of punishment if any attempt to leave should be observed by the abuser. Any hint of independence on the part of a victim is perceived as a real threat, more reason to attack.
Verbal and/or physical abuse is often followed by contrite apologies accompanied by tearful promises never to do it again . . . blame for the attack may be acknowledged, and solicitous behavior can follow, sometimes for long periods of time. Along with this behavior, the abuser will usually attempt to downplay damage caused by the abuse, denying that certain incidents occurred at all.
Any effort toward arguments, discussions, or confrontation with an abuser, even during the remorseful stages following an attack, frequently is met with deflection, denial that anything may have occurred at all, or irritability, effectively ending any meaningful interaction regarding working toward a solution. Abusers shy away from therapists unless they feel that a rapport has been established between themselves and the therapist which will exclude and blame their victims. Often a structure of misrepresentations and outright lies is fed to a counselor, who may be for a time none the wiser. This plays perfectly into the abuser's ruse, and can delay identification of the abuser as a dangerous predator. Abusers can be verbally persuasive and extremely convincing, since they appear to actually believe their own lies, and may present outrageous untruths with striking sincerity.
It is common for victims of abuse to feel powerless and vulnerable. A tactic of abusers is to belittle their victims, ridiculing and criticizing until confidence is shattered and fear replaces any survival instinct. Physical attacks may begin if verbal abuse alone does not achieve the abuser's goal of complete domination.
Love is never criticism, meanness or unpleasantness. Love does not accompany any behavior which hurts another person or animal. Making excuses for an abuser accomplishes nothing and in fact may ensure that the next (sometimes unsuspecting) victim will be injured or even perhaps killed . . . by a conflicted, insecure, unbalanced person who cannot or will not seek qualified help.
Intimidation the method, control the ultimate goal. Abusers desperately need to be seen as powerful, as people to be reckoned with, and will go to any length to achieve this imagery. Any person who is within an abuser's life sphere is seen as property, to be manipulated in any way that the abuser sees fit.
If possible, the abuser will convince his/her target that there is no way to ever get away or escape, that the abused is being watched at all times, and is in danger of punishment if any attempt to leave should be observed by the abuser. Any hint of independence on the part of a victim is perceived as a real threat, more reason to attack.
Verbal and/or physical abuse is often followed by contrite apologies accompanied by tearful promises never to do it again . . . blame for the attack may be acknowledged, and solicitous behavior can follow, sometimes for long periods of time. Along with this behavior, the abuser will usually attempt to downplay damage caused by the abuse, denying that certain incidents occurred at all.
Any effort toward arguments, discussions, or confrontation with an abuser, even during the remorseful stages following an attack, frequently is met with deflection, denial that anything may have occurred at all, or irritability, effectively ending any meaningful interaction regarding working toward a solution. Abusers shy away from therapists unless they feel that a rapport has been established between themselves and the therapist which will exclude and blame their victims. Often a structure of misrepresentations and outright lies is fed to a counselor, who may be for a time none the wiser. This plays perfectly into the abuser's ruse, and can delay identification of the abuser as a dangerous predator. Abusers can be verbally persuasive and extremely convincing, since they appear to actually believe their own lies, and may present outrageous untruths with striking sincerity.
It is common for victims of abuse to feel powerless and vulnerable. A tactic of abusers is to belittle their victims, ridiculing and criticizing until confidence is shattered and fear replaces any survival instinct. Physical attacks may begin if verbal abuse alone does not achieve the abuser's goal of complete domination.
Love is never criticism, meanness or unpleasantness. Love does not accompany any behavior which hurts another person or animal. Making excuses for an abuser accomplishes nothing and in fact may ensure that the next (sometimes unsuspecting) victim will be injured or even perhaps killed . . . by a conflicted, insecure, unbalanced person who cannot or will not seek qualified help.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Power of Chocolate
By this time, the positive effects of eating chocolate are pretty much known and understood by all. Serotonin levels increase in the brain, and this alone perks up response time, not to mention a fairly happy attitude about it all.
Quite a few other chemical reactions occur also . . . chocolate's ingredients include cocoa, which contains caffeine, that popular mood-booster; and a bit of tryptophan, which tends to relax and relieve developing tension. Then there are flavanoids and vitamins C, which fight free radicals, those demonic little atoms, molecules, or ions with unpaired electrons which are chemically reactive and damage healthy cells.
So . . . chocolate's benefits are long known and widely extolled. It contains high fiber, is low calorie; helps prevent inflammation, can even become helpful in relieving allergies, and is readily available. Dark chocolate has become more and more popular since a marketing campaign initiated a few years ago brought these wonderful and satisfying facts to widespread attention.
Besides, it's delicious. That slightly sweet taste with its ever-so-subtly bitter flavor wisp just flips the 'up' switch when consumed. So simple, too. Just choose from hundreds of packaged offerings . . . some imported from Germany or Ecuador, or Peru . . . places of cocoa-consumption fame, and thus exotic so far as chocolate concoctions may go.
Go ahead, do it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Forget any negative thought, eat chocolate. Realize that any guilt will evaporate once it reaches one's neurological circuits, so why wait?
Just do it. Friends and family, co-workers, and even those who must come in contact with you in traffic will appreciate your dietary efforts in this regard.
Experience sublime pleasure for an instant and distribute relief at the same time.
Quite a few other chemical reactions occur also . . . chocolate's ingredients include cocoa, which contains caffeine, that popular mood-booster; and a bit of tryptophan, which tends to relax and relieve developing tension. Then there are flavanoids and vitamins C, which fight free radicals, those demonic little atoms, molecules, or ions with unpaired electrons which are chemically reactive and damage healthy cells.
So . . . chocolate's benefits are long known and widely extolled. It contains high fiber, is low calorie; helps prevent inflammation, can even become helpful in relieving allergies, and is readily available. Dark chocolate has become more and more popular since a marketing campaign initiated a few years ago brought these wonderful and satisfying facts to widespread attention.
Besides, it's delicious. That slightly sweet taste with its ever-so-subtly bitter flavor wisp just flips the 'up' switch when consumed. So simple, too. Just choose from hundreds of packaged offerings . . . some imported from Germany or Ecuador, or Peru . . . places of cocoa-consumption fame, and thus exotic so far as chocolate concoctions may go.
Go ahead, do it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Forget any negative thought, eat chocolate. Realize that any guilt will evaporate once it reaches one's neurological circuits, so why wait?
Just do it. Friends and family, co-workers, and even those who must come in contact with you in traffic will appreciate your dietary efforts in this regard.
Experience sublime pleasure for an instant and distribute relief at the same time.
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